THE LADIES PROBLEM
IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.LEAVE IT ON THE COMMENTS PAGE AND I WILL GET BACK TO YOU AS SOON AS POSIBLE.NO REAL PROBLEMS THOUGH ,IM NOT A REAL AGONY AUNT.
Heres a real Problem from a lady called The-girl-who-thinks-boys-are-stupid
and it reads.
»¿
Dear pattagony,
Are all boys stupid or maybe is there any other which is smart like u?
Cheers,
The-girl-who-thinks-boys-are-stupid .
Well the answer to your problem is quite easy.
Firstly you need to lower your standards.Men as a species are pretty Thick.If you hope to find one that is more intelligent than the average shoe or biscuit tin,Then you do have a problem.Men are simple creatures ,As long as they are fed,Have some form of Physical content and are aloud to read newspapers in the toilet then they are generally happy wee things, that will perform any trick you need them to perform.So i suggest you buy some pies for him to eat,Give him lashings of affection and physical manipulation of his man appendage (In all the various formats available to you).Also buy a magazine rack for your bathroom and stock it full of all his favourite newspapers and magazines....oh dont put any rude ones in or you might not get the use of his man stuff.In conjunction with a lowering of you un-achievable standards.
If you follow all these actions it wont be long until you can not only catch a man but from that moment you can train him to do whatever you want.Though dont hope to increase his mental strength...cos he'll just forget everything after eating a pie.
As for a man as smart as me ......There is one my twin brother Artt.He to is a 15 stone ,pot bellied hunk with balding grey hair and a fantastic sence of humour.His intrests are eating,reading and having his little man arrangement tampered with.But im affraid hes unavailable.....cos i just made him up....I Hope this solves your problem and i hope to hear of your successes in the future.Ifound this recipe on a far better Blog it may help.
3 guys + 1 girl + one pack of kuaci + mars bars + snicker bars + snacks + 2 cans of fizzyness = absolute Feng Tau-ness.
Oh and stay away from guys in Panda suits.
Heres a real Problem from a lady called The-girl-who-thinks-boys-are-stupid
and it reads.
»¿
Dear pattagony,
Are all boys stupid or maybe is there any other which is smart like u?
Cheers,
The-girl-who-thinks-boys-are-stupid .
Well the answer to your problem is quite easy.
Firstly you need to lower your standards.Men as a species are pretty Thick.If you hope to find one that is more intelligent than the average shoe or biscuit tin,Then you do have a problem.Men are simple creatures ,As long as they are fed,Have some form of Physical content and are aloud to read newspapers in the toilet then they are generally happy wee things, that will perform any trick you need them to perform.So i suggest you buy some pies for him to eat,Give him lashings of affection and physical manipulation of his man appendage (In all the various formats available to you).Also buy a magazine rack for your bathroom and stock it full of all his favourite newspapers and magazines....oh dont put any rude ones in or you might not get the use of his man stuff.In conjunction with a lowering of you un-achievable standards.
If you follow all these actions it wont be long until you can not only catch a man but from that moment you can train him to do whatever you want.Though dont hope to increase his mental strength...cos he'll just forget everything after eating a pie.
As for a man as smart as me ......There is one my twin brother Artt.He to is a 15 stone ,pot bellied hunk with balding grey hair and a fantastic sence of humour.His intrests are eating,reading and having his little man arrangement tampered with.But im affraid hes unavailable.....cos i just made him up....I Hope this solves your problem and i hope to hear of your successes in the future.Ifound this recipe on a far better Blog it may help.
3 guys + 1 girl + one pack of kuaci + mars bars + snicker bars + snacks + 2 cans of fizzyness = absolute Feng Tau-ness.
Oh and stay away from guys in Panda suits.
posted by Patt at 6:11 PM
7 Comments:
Hahahaha that was just WEIRD! Hahahah send me real problems but no real problems? Confusing stuff... Totally made up too!
lol. okay wait so im doing things right. I feed him with food and the physical stuff. So now all I need is a rack with mags and papers. Damn, didn't know life was that easy. Lol.
I will bookmark this blog. ;)
alehegoodsoul: i could help you with your confusion problem....I feel the root of your problem lies in the death of a family pet or a deep mistrust of custard.....So my advice would be cut your toenails regularly and skip rather than hop when going to the shops.Remember to alternate your body wieght or this could lead to Knee problems in your old age...I hope that helps.
juneyyy...It sounds simple but its not only the setup of these practices but maintainig them in the correct amounts and at the correct time...forinstance...Too much food and the male brain moves away from being tammpered with and only seeks more food.To much physical action and the male finds it difficult to walk,therefore making it harder to get to the toilet to read the provided magazines therefore making him even thicker taking us back to the first ladies problem.....So its not really simple at all.Oh and they like to be pointed at and laughed at by a group of thier peers in front of thier good lady...I HOPE THAT HELPS YOU.
Negrodamas:
Why cant I find a job?
alex.Your problem is easy .You cant find a job because your skin appears to be a bit too orange for most employers and your guts seem to be hanging out.These themselves may not be the only reason u cant get gainfull employment.I suspect that the boots you wear are a bit too much like Tank Girls.This would give any prospective employers reason to believe that you may kill half of thier workforce.
So i suggest you buy yourself a nice pair of nature treker leather slipon shoes and toss the boots.Get yourself a big coat like the one worn by the thing in the fantastic four........Oh and dont spend so much time Blogging.I hope that helps your problem...If not your screwed mate.
lol!!!!!!!! it just gets funnier!
Dear Patt,
What's the solution for a girl like me who keeps liking man who are cancerian with girlfriends? :(
I feel so hopeless
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